The Ham Radio Wedding - Uniting Ham And Radio In Holy Telephony

With "pun" in mind, we are privileged to welcome you to the marriage
ceremony of "ham" and "radio". After a short engagement...because
concerning Radio, Ham could not resistor...wanting to inductor into
being a part of his family, and start a new one. So, they've decided to
do more than just "shack up".

Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today for this special net for the
joyous occasion to join ham and radio in Holy Telephony. Ham has just
passed his amateur radio license exams, so he will be Third Party Traffic,
as he waits on his callsign from the FCC.

The general format of this RF, or Real Fine, ceremony, will be
participatory in nature...and for the bride and groom, it is a big
deal...and the atmosphere is rather electric, to say the least.

If anyone here feels that ham and radio should not be united in Marriage
of HolyTelephony, let them key up now, or never pound their brass.

However, you likely will be subjected to the wrath of the Wouff Hong, Rettysnitch, and Ugerumph by both families if you object (hi hi).

Does the father of the bride, KenWood, give his consent for this special occasion??

[Sound of "YES, I do", 20 wpm CW]

Do you ham, take radio, to be your lawfully wedded spouse?? To love,
honor, and cherish?? In DXCC and WAS?? In QRM and QRN?? With Rohn 25 and
G5RV?? With coaxial cable and various connectors?? With logbooks and
manuals?? With Solder and Testing Equipment??

Respecting The Wouff Hong, Rettysnitch, and Ugerumph, Your License, and Privileges. Forsaking all others, as long as you both shall transmit and receive, during your relationship, until Silent Key, do you part??

[Sound of male voice "QSL. I Certainly Do."(Tim Cornett)]

Do you radio, take ham, to be your lawfully wedded spouse?? To love,
honor, and cherish?? In DXCC and WAS?? In QRM and QRN?? With Rohn 25 and
G5RV?? With coaxial cable and various connectors?? With logbooks and
manuals?? With Solder and Testing Equipment??

Respecting The Wouff Hong, Rettysnitch, and Ugerumph, Your License, and Privileges. Forsaking all others, as long as you both shall transmit and receive, during your relationship, until Silent Key, do you part??

[Sound of PSK31]

In lieu of a prayer and Bible reading, I feel that The Amateur's Code,
written in 1928, by the late Paul M. Segal, W9EEA, is appropriate for
this ceremony. As such, I would expect that both of you, "ham" and
"radio", would follow these traits, as you both transmit and receive
throughout your relationship. You are to be:

CONSIDERATE: Never knowingly operating in such a way as to lessen the
pleasure of others.

LOYAL: Offering loyalty, encouragement and support to other amateurs,
local clubs, and the American Radio Relay League, through which Amateur
Radio in the United States is represented nationally, and internationally.

PROGRESSIVE: With knowledge abreast of science, a well built and efficient station, and operation beyond reproach.

FRIENDLY: With slow and patient operation when requested, friendly advice
and counsel to the beginner, kindly assistance, co-operation and
consideration for the interests of others. These are the hallmarks of the amateur spirit.

BALANCED: Radio is an avocation, never interfering with duties owed to
family, job, school, or community.

PATRIOTIC: With station and skill always ready for service to country and community.

Please stand by while I get the special marriage connectors.

With these specially prepared BNC, SMA, and PL259 connectors, along with
LED lights...each of you are to present them to each other, and either
say or transmit "With This Connector, I thee, LED".

These special combination connectors and LED's...light emitting diodes...
will show that you will light up with excitement each time you transmit throughout your relationship.

[Sound of male voice "WithThis Connector, IThee, LED"]. (Tim Cornett)

[Sound Of RTTY]

In as much as you two have promised your devotion, and lifelong commitment
to each other; before Net Control, and all these witnesses on the net...by
the power that has been invested in me, by the Cabot Nightflyers Net, as
Net Control and Webmaster, I now pronounce you "ham" and "radio".

You may now kiss the mic.

[Sound of packet burst]

[MaleVoice "My bride just told me to packet. The honeymoon will be at
Dayton Hamvention in May...and we will have music of The Ham Band at the reception."] (Tim Cornett)

At net time, few details were available on the reception, but we assume
it was excellent. As for the food that was served, we understand everyone
got a charge out of an electrically delicious salad concoction that was prepared...known as Ohm Slaw. And, let's definitely not forget the
delightfully D-Layer rich dessert of P Times I Equals E.

We have no word on the wedding cake that was served...the removal of the garter...the bridal bouquet...what everyone was wearing...how many guests
were in attendance, who got the garter and bouquet, etc.

However, we understand the wedding gifts consisted of several nice
electronic, and ornamental, items and accessories for the ham radio
shack, among other things...which were much appreciated by the bride and
groom.
--- SBBSecho 3.14-Win32
* Origin: The Thunderbolt BBS - Little Rock, Arkansas (1:2320/33)

(CONTINUED FROM PREVIOUS MESSAGE)

While ham radio is a hobby, some of us joke as if it is an obsession!! So,
with credit and glory to The Lord Jesus Christ for the inspiration; and
with extensive research in the "creative juices department", I've figured
out what a "ham radio wedding"...plus a "ham radio honeymoon", and "Ham
For The Holidays" might be like. Please note that these are "fun skits",
done "tongue in cheek", as it were; because the skits are NOT actual
weddings, honeymoons, or holiday events; although the "Ham For The
Holidays" segment comes close.

This is because in real life, a bona fide wedding requires an Ordained Minister, Justice Of The Peace, etc. to officiate the ceremony...and,
the couple has to have a marriage license, among other things. I know
that myself, having been originally married in 2003, but I've been a
widower since 2007.

As an aside, when my bride to be and I went to get our marriage license,
the county clerk made a mistake, entering her birth year as 1658, instead
of 1958. I quipped "she sure looks good for 345 years of age", and she
added "Well, I do sell Avon"!! She was studying for the Technician Class license at the time of her passing, 3 weeks shy of our 4th anniversary.

Amidst the raucous laughter...the blushing, embarrassed clerk had to
tear up the license she was typing, and start over. People in the
Pulaski County Courthouse in downtown Little Rock, Arkansas...including
both city, county, and state law enforcement officers, had to enter the
County Clerks office to ask "what is going on in there??", for all the laughter!! The embarrassed clerk lamented "You don't want to know!!",
which brought another round of raucous laughter (hi hi).

While there is a "ham radio license" noted in the skit, it's rather
bizarre to consider the context that someone would actually marry a
piece of electronic equipment!! Besides, think of all the issues
surrounding "consummation of the relationship"...and that will be
covered in "The Honeymoon And More" (hi hi).

As noted, the humor has quite a bit of ham radio puns, also known as
"a play on words"...and the beauty of the pun is in the groan of the recipient!! An example of a pun is that "The idea of a ham radio traders
net might have gotten started when a pig was sold by a farmer to a
Country Pawn Shop, and the transaction became known as the first
Ham Hock". (Please don't throw the tomatoes at me...I'd rather have
them in a salad...as H.A.M. stands for "Have Another Meal", and you
don't call us "late for dinner" (hi hi)).

These skits were designed for a little levity, and a little bit of fun...
as there is so little in the world to laugh at nowadays. There are
several in central Arkansas, including yours truly, who fondly remember
the "fertilizer nets", done by the late J.M. Jolly, W5ZXS (SK)...and I
think he would've done something like this on that net.

And now, the Cabot Nightflyers Net is proud to present tonight's training presentations...starting with "The Ham Radio Wedding"...enjoy.

**

The Ham Radio Wedding - Uniting Ham And Radio In Holy Telephony

With "pun" in mind, we are privileged to welcome you to the marriage
ceremony of "ham" and "radio". After a short engagement...because
concerning Radio, Ham could not resistor...wanting to inductor into
being a part of his family, and start a new one. So, they've decided to
do more than just "shack up".

Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today for this special net for the
joyous occasion to join ham and radio in Holy Telephony. Ham has just
passed his amateur radio license exams, so he will be Third Party Traffic,
as he waits on his callsign from the FCC.

The general format of this RF, or Real Fine, ceremony, is participatory
in nature...and for the bride and groom, it is a big deal...and the
atmosphere is rather electric, to say the least.

If anyone here feels that ham and radio should not be united in Marriage
of Holy Telephony, let them key up now, or never pound their brass.

However, you likely will be subjected to the wrath of the Wouff Hong, Rettysnitch, and Ugerumph by both families if you object (hi hi).

Does the father of the bride, KenWood, give his consent for this special occasion??

[Sound of "YES, I do", 20 wpm CW]

Do you ham, take radio, to be your lawfully wedded spouse?? To love, honor,
and cherish?? In DXCC and WAS?? In QRM and QRN?? With Rohn 25 and G5RV??
With coaxial cable and various connectors?? With logbooks and manuals??
With Solder and Testing Equipment??

Respecting The Wouff Hong, Rettysnitch, and Ugerumph, Your License, and Privileges. Forsaking all others, as long as you both shall transmit and receive, during your relationship, until Silent Key, do you part??

[Sound of male voice "QSL. I Certainly Do."(Tim Cornett)]

Do you radio, take ham, to be your lawfully wedded spouse?? To love, honor,
and cherish?? In DXCC and WAS?? In QRM and QRN?? With Rohn 25 and G5RV??
With coaxial cable and various connectors?? With logbooks and manuals??
With Solder and Testing Equipment??

Respecting The Wouff Hong, Rettysnitch, and Ugerumph, Your License, and Privileges. Forsaking all others, as long as you both shall transmit and receive, during your relationship, until Silent Key, do you part??

[Sound of PSK31]

(CONTINUED NEXT MESSAGE)
--- SBBSecho 3.20-Win32
* Origin: The Thunderbolt BBS - Little Rock, Arkansas (1:2320/33)