• A quick sonnet: Mother

    From The True Melissa@3:633/10 to All on Sat May 30 14:23:59 2026

    When I was much too small to meet your eye,
    I loved you more than I loved anyone.
    I saw you hated me, but never why.
    I never understood what I had done.

    When I grew tall enough, I ran away.
    The world was not as bad as I'd been told
    But still you pulled me back under your sway.
    It was more dangerous inside the fold.

    When you no longer could maintain your hoard,
    I soon turned up to help you as required.
    I scrubbed 'til sanitation was restored,
    While you made fun of me for being tired.

    You always said I'd get what I deserve.
    This isn't it. I quit. I will not serve.


    --
    The True Melissa - Canal Winchester - Ohio
    United States of America - North America - Earth
    Solar System - Milky Way - Local Group
    Virgo Cluster - Laniakea Supercluster - Cosmos

    --- PyGate Linux v1.5.15
    * Origin: Dragon's Lair, PyGate NNTP<>Fido Gate (3:633/10)
  • From Bruce@3:633/10 to All on Sat May 30 16:17:24 2026
    The True Melissa wrote:

    When I was much too small to meet your eye,
    I loved you more than I loved anyone.
    I saw you hated me, but never why.
    I never understood what I had done.

    When I grew tall enough, I ran away.
    The world was not as bad as I'd been told
    But still you pulled me back under your sway.
    It was more dangerous inside the fold.

    When you no longer could maintain your hoard,
    I soon turned up to help you as required.
    I scrubbed 'til sanitation was restored,
    While you made fun of me for being tired.

    You always said I'd get what I deserve.
    This isn't it. I quit. I will not serve.


    Deep.

    --- PyGate Linux v1.5.15
    * Origin: Dragon's Lair, PyGate NNTP<>Fido Gate (3:633/10)
  • From The True Melissa@3:633/10 to All on Sat May 30 16:21:45 2026
    Verily, in article <18b471395141b028$2647$3993232 $72dd786b@news.thecubenet.com>, did Bruce@invalid.invalid deliver unto
    us this message:

    The True Melissa wrote:

    When I was much too small to meet your eye,
    I loved you more than I loved anyone.
    I saw you hated me, but never why.
    I never understood what I had done.

    When I grew tall enough, I ran away.
    The world was not as bad as I'd been told
    But still you pulled me back under your sway.
    It was more dangerous inside the fold.

    When you no longer could maintain your hoard,
    I soon turned up to help you as required.
    I scrubbed 'til sanitation was restored,
    While you made fun of me for being tired.

    You always said I'd get what I deserve.
    This isn't it. I quit. I will not serve.


    Deep.

    Thank you, Bruce.


    --
    The True Melissa - Canal Winchester - Ohio
    United States of America - North America - Earth
    Solar System - Milky Way - Local Group
    Virgo Cluster - Laniakea Supercluster - Cosmos

    --- PyGate Linux v1.5.15
    * Origin: Dragon's Lair, PyGate NNTP<>Fido Gate (3:633/10)
  • From Bruce@3:633/10 to All on Sat May 30 16:33:53 2026
    The True Melissa wrote:
    Verily, in article <18b471395141b028$2647$3993232 $72dd786b@news.thecubenet.com>, did Bruce@invalid.invalid deliver unto
    us this message:

    The True Melissa wrote:

    When I was much too small to meet your eye,
    I loved you more than I loved anyone.
    I saw you hated me, but never why.
    I never understood what I had done.

    When I grew tall enough, I ran away.
    The world was not as bad as I'd been told
    But still you pulled me back under your sway.
    It was more dangerous inside the fold.

    When you no longer could maintain your hoard,
    I soon turned up to help you as required.
    I scrubbed 'til sanitation was restored,
    While you made fun of me for being tired.

    You always said I'd get what I deserve.
    This isn't it. I quit. I will not serve.


    Deep.

    Thank you, Bruce.


    My pleasure reading it, Melissa, well done.

    --- PyGate Linux v1.5.15
    * Origin: Dragon's Lair, PyGate NNTP<>Fido Gate (3:633/10)
  • From The True Melissa@3:633/10 to All on Sun May 31 07:21:51 2026
    Verily, in article <t62o1l5nk4pvmttp1cfpqhc4a53s0foej1@4ax.com>, did Man@the.keyboard deliver unto us this message:

    There are probably many who will recognise that ... person. Some of
    them will not have gone back to try to help.

    Thank you, True Melissa, that is ... vivid.

    Thanks, John. I'm glad you liked it.

    --
    The True Melissa - Canal Winchester - Ohio
    United States of America - North America - Earth
    Solar System - Milky Way - Local Group
    Virgo Cluster - Laniakea Supercluster - Cosmos

    --- PyGate Linux v1.5.15
    * Origin: Dragon's Lair, PyGate NNTP<>Fido Gate (3:633/10)
  • From Will Dockery@3:633/10 to All on Thu Jun 18 01:06:33 2026

    The True Melissa <thetruemelissa@gmail.com> posted:

    When I was much too small to meet your eye,
    I loved you more than I loved anyone.
    I saw you hated me, but never why.
    I never understood what I had done.

    When I grew tall enough, I ran away.
    The world was not as bad as I'd been told
    But still you pulled me back under your sway.
    It was more dangerous inside the fold.

    When you no longer could maintain your hoard,
    I soon turned up to help you as required.
    I scrubbed 'til sanitation was restored,
    While you made fun of me for being tired.

    You always said I'd get what I deserve.
    This isn't it. I quit. I will not serve.

    Another read, good poem, sad topic.

    --
    Poetry and songs of Will Dockery:
    https://www.reverbnation.com/willdockery

    --- PyGate Linux v1.5.17
    * Origin: Dragon's Lair, PyGate NNTP<>Fido Gate (3:633/10)
  • From The True Melissa@3:633/10 to All on Thu Jun 18 06:46:31 2026
    Verily, in article <1781744793-3274@newsgrouper.org>, did user3274 @newsgrouper.org.invalid deliver unto us this message:

    Another read, good poem, sad topic.

    Thank you. I think hanging out in this group inspired me to write
    something again.

    --
    The True Melissa - Canal Winchester - Ohio
    United States of America - North America - Earth
    Solar System - Milky Way - Local Group
    Virgo Cluster - Laniakea Supercluster - Cosmos

    --- PyGate Linux v1.5.17
    * Origin: Dragon's Lair, PyGate NNTP<>Fido Gate (3:633/10)
  • From Will Dockery@3:633/10 to All on Fri Jun 19 03:01:56 2026

    The True Melissa <thetruemelissa@gmail.com> posted:

    Verily, in article <1781744793-3274@newsgrouper.org>, did user3274 @newsgrouper.org.invalid deliver unto us this message:

    Another read, good poem, sad topic.

    Thank you. I think hanging out in this group inspired me to write
    something again.

    No really valid reason but this poem makes me think of John Lennon's song "Mother" when I read it.

    I'm mainly posting this in order to text and make sure it appears on JLA Forums or if it doesn't, test wy I think it doesn't.

    --
    Poetry and songs of Will Dockery:
    https://www.reverbnation.com/willdockery

    --- PyGate Linux v1.5.17
    * Origin: Dragon's Lair, PyGate NNTP<>Fido Gate (3:633/10)
  • From The True Melissa@3:633/10 to All on Fri Jun 19 05:46:43 2026
    Verily, in article <1781838116-3274@newsgrouper.org>, did user3274 @newsgrouper.org.invalid deliver unto us this message:
    The True Melissa <thetruemelissa@gmail.com> posted:

    [quoted text muted]

    Another read, good poem, sad topic.

    Thank you. I think hanging out in this group inspired me to write something again.

    No really valid reason but this poem makes me think of John Lennon's song "Mother" when I read it.


    I'm not sure I've heard that. I'll find it on YouTube.

    --
    The True Melissa - Canal Winchester - Ohio
    United States of America - North America - Earth
    Solar System - Milky Way - Local Group
    Virgo Cluster - Laniakea Supercluster - Cosmos

    --- PyGate Linux v1.5.17
    * Origin: Dragon's Lair, PyGate NNTP<>Fido Gate (3:633/10)
  • From Will Dockery@3:633/10 to All on Fri Jun 19 14:04:58 2026

    The True Melissa <thetruemelissa@gmail.com> posted:
    Verily, in article <1781838116-3274@newsgrouper.org>, did user3274 @newsgrouper.org.invalid deliver unto us this message:
    The True Melissa <thetruemelissa@gmail.com> posted:

    [quoted text muted]

    Another read, good poem, sad topic.

    Thank you. I think hanging out in this group inspired me to write something again.

    No really valid reason but this poem makes me think of John Lennon's song "Mother" when I read it.


    I'm not sure I've heard that. I'll find it on YouTube.

    You'll find it there, I can't guarantee it will interest you, though.

    --
    Poetry and songs of Will Dockery:
    https://www.reverbnation.com/willdockery

    --- PyGate Linux v1.5.17
    * Origin: Dragon's Lair, PyGate NNTP<>Fido Gate (3:633/10)
  • From Will Dockery@3:633/10 to All on Fri Jun 19 14:47:25 2026

    The True Melissa <thetruemelissa@gmail.com> posted:

    Verily, in article <1781838116-3274@newsgrouper.org>, did user3274 @newsgrouper.org.invalid deliver unto us this message:
    The True Melissa <thetruemelissa@gmail.com> posted:

    [quoted text muted]

    Another read, good poem, sad topic.

    Thank you. I think hanging out in this group inspired me to write something again.

    No really valid reason but this poem makes me think of John Lennon's song "Mother" when I read it.


    I'm not sure I've heard that.

    Now's a good time to find out, it was released in 1970.


    I'll find it on YouTube.

    Good.

    Let me know what you think.

    --
    Poetry and songs of Will Dockery:
    https://www.reverbnation.com/willdockery

    --- PyGate Linux v1.5.17
    * Origin: Dragon's Lair, PyGate NNTP<>Fido Gate (3:633/10)
  • From Will Dockery@3:633/10 to All on Sun Jun 21 02:43:12 2026

    The True Melissa <thetruemelissa@gmail.com> posted:

    Verily, in article <1781838116-3274@newsgrouper.org>, did user3274 @newsgrouper.org.invalid deliver unto us this message:
    The True Melissa <thetruemelissa@gmail.com> posted:

    [quoted text muted]

    Another read, good poem, sad topic.

    Thank you. I think hanging out in this group inspired me to write something again.

    No really valid reason but this poem makes me think of John Lennon's song "Mother" when I read it.


    I'm not sure I've heard that. I'll find it on YouTube.

    Okay, that shoots down our theory that you're really Peter J. Ross.

    And that's *good* thing.

    ?

    --
    Poetry and songs of Will Dockery:
    https://www.reverbnation.com/willdockery

    --- PyGate Linux v1.5.17
    * Origin: Dragon's Lair, PyGate NNTP<>Fido Gate (3:633/10)
  • From Bruce@3:633/10 to All on Sun Jun 21 04:02:16 2026
    Will Dockery wrote:

    The True Melissa <thetruemelissa@gmail.com> posted:

    Verily, in article <1781838116-3274@newsgrouper.org>, did user3274
    @newsgrouper.org.invalid deliver unto us this message:
    The True Melissa <thetruemelissa@gmail.com> posted:

    [quoted text muted]

    Another read, good poem, sad topic.

    Thank you. I think hanging out in this group inspired me to write
    something again.

    No really valid reason but this poem makes me think of John Lennon's song "Mother" when I read it.


    I'm not sure I've heard that. I'll find it on YouTube.

    Okay, that shoots down our theory that you're really Peter J. Ross.


    D U M B A S S!

    https://postimg.cc/qNpJvL5j

    --- PyGate Linux v1.5.17
    * Origin: Dragon's Lair, PyGate NNTP<>Fido Gate (3:633/10)
  • From Will Dockery@3:633/10 to All on Sun Jun 21 08:52:29 2026

    Bruce <Bruce@nope.invalid> posted:

    Will Dockery wrote:

    The True Melissa <thetruemelissa@gmail.com> posted:

    Verily, in article <1781838116-3274@newsgrouper.org>, did user3274
    @newsgrouper.org.invalid deliver unto us this message:
    The True Melissa <thetruemelissa@gmail.com> posted:

    [quoted text muted]

    Another read, good poem, sad topic.

    Thank you. I think hanging out in this group inspired me to write
    something again.

    No really valid reason but this poem makes me think of John Lennon's song "Mother" when I read it.


    I'm not sure I've heard that. I'll find it on YouTube.

    Okay, that shoots down our theory that you're really Peter J. Ross.


    D U M B A S S!

    Sorry the joke went over your head.

    ?

    --
    Poetry and songs of Will Dockery:
    https://www.reverbnation.com/willdockery

    --- PyGate Linux v1.5.17
    * Origin: Dragon's Lair, PyGate NNTP<>Fido Gate (3:633/10)
  • From Bruce@3:633/10 to All on Sun Jun 21 05:56:04 2026
    Will Dockery wrote:
    Okay, that shoots down our theory that you're really Peter J. Ross.


    D U M B A S S!



    Sorry



    https://postimg.cc/qNpJvL5j


    --- PyGate Linux v1.5.17
    * Origin: Dragon's Lair, PyGate NNTP<>Fido Gate (3:633/10)
  • From The True Melissa@3:633/10 to All on Sun Jun 21 07:04:49 2026
    Verily, in article <1782009792-3274@newsgrouper.org>, did user3274 @newsgrouper.org.invalid deliver unto us this message:

    Okay, that shoots down our theory that you're really Peter J. Ross.

    And that's *good* thing.

    Who's Peter J. Ross?


    --
    The True Melissa - Canal Winchester - Ohio
    United States of America - North America - Earth
    Solar System - Milky Way - Local Group
    Virgo Cluster - Laniakea Supercluster - Cosmos

    --- PyGate Linux v1.5.17
    * Origin: Dragon's Lair, PyGate NNTP<>Fido Gate (3:633/10)
  • From Will Dockery@3:633/10 to All on Sun Jun 21 12:50:26 2026

    The True Melissa <thetruemelissa@gmail.com> posted:
    Verily, in article <1782009792-3274@newsgrouper.org>, did user3274 @newsgrouper.org.invalid deliver unto us this message:

    Okay, that shoots down our theory that you're really Peter J. Ross.

    And that's *good* thing.

    Who's Peter J. Ross?

    https://pennyspoetry.fandom.com/wiki/Peter_J._Ross

    If youre on the poetry newsgroups for a while you'll no doubt meet PJR.

    --
    Poetry and songs of Will Dockery:
    https://www.reverbnation.com/willdockery

    --- PyGate Linux v1.5.17
    * Origin: Dragon's Lair, PyGate NNTP<>Fido Gate (3:633/10)
  • From Cujo DeSockpuppet@3:633/10 to All on Sun Jun 21 14:00:22 2026
    The True Melissa <thetruemelissa@gmail.com> wrote in news:MPG.44a18f597b9d058698a0b7@news.eternal-september.org:

    Verily, in article <1782009792-3274@newsgrouper.org>, did user3274 @newsgrouper.org.invalid deliver unto us this message:

    Okay, that shoots down our theory that you're really Peter J. Ross.

    And that's *good* thing.

    Who's Peter J. Ross?



    He's someone who has laughed at the weaseling of Dreckster for over two decades. He also is a pretty good poet.

    He's also capable of killer song parodies.

    From 2026/05/19:

    Sleepin' In A Shed - By Peter J. Ross. ***********************************************
    How many roads must a bum crawl down
    Before you call him a bum?
    How many steaks must a drunkard mooch
    Before he's laughable scum?
    Yes, 'n' how many times must a moron be spanked
    Because he's forever dumb?
    The answer, my friend, is sleepin' in a shed,
    The answer is sleepin' in a shed.

    Yes, 'n' how many years can a douchebag spam
    Before he's thrown off the 'Net?
    Yes, 'n' how many years since his lyin' began
    Can he fail to be payin' his debt?
    Yes, 'n' how many times can he edit our posts
    And pretend that it's we who forget?
    The answer, my friend, is sleepin' in a shed,
    The answer is sleepin' in a shed.

    Yes, 'n' how many times must a bum be mocked
    Before he can count the cost?
    Yes, 'n' how many Zaaah-rows must one bum howl
    Before he is banned and TOSed?
    Yes, 'n' how many plagiarists' deaths will it take
    Before he admits that he's lost?
    The answer, my friend, is sleepin' in a shed,
    The answer is sleepin' in a shed. ***********************************************

    Think we can get Benders to persuade Ducky and Douchebag to perform it at whatever shithole that will have them?

    Added bonus: It's only C, G and D chords. Not that it matters,
    Dreckweasel will be off key no matter what. Ducky might be able to pick
    up a third chord in a few weeks. If it has legs, it has a chance!

    Time's a' wasting!



    --
    "The fact that it doesn't apply to the poem is of little consequence to
    you, because your poems don't have a literary basis, because you're functionally illiterate and haven't got a clue as to what a poem is." -
    Little Willie Douchebag gets another asskicking from Pendragon

    --- PyGate Linux v1.5.17
    * Origin: Dragon's Lair, PyGate NNTP<>Fido Gate (3:633/10)
  • From Will Dockery@3:633/10 to All on Sun Jun 21 14:20:27 2026

    Cujo DeSockpuppet <cujo@petitmorte.net> posted:

    The True Melissa <thetruemelissa@gmail.com> wrote in news:MPG.44a18f597b9d058698a0b7@news.eternal-september.org:
    Verily, in article <1782009792-3274@newsgrouper.org>, did user3274 @newsgrouper.org.invalid deliver unto us this message:

    Okay, that shoots down our theory that you're really Peter J. Ross.

    And that's *good* thing.

    Who's Peter J. Ross?

    https://pennyspoetry.fandom.com/wiki/Peter_J._Ross

    He also is a pretty good poet.

    He's also capable of killer song parodies.

    From 2026/05/19:

    Sleepin' In A Shed - By Peter J. Ross. ***********************************************
    How many roads must a bum crawl down
    Before you call him a bum?
    How many steaks must a drunkard mooch
    Before he's laughable scum?
    Yes, 'n' how many times must a moron be spanked
    Because he's forever dumb?
    The answer, my friend, is sleepin' in a shed,
    The answer is sleepin' in a shed.

    Yes, 'n' how many years can a douchebag spam
    Before he's thrown off the 'Net?
    Yes, 'n' how many years since his lyin' began
    Can he fail to be payin' his debt?
    Yes, 'n' how many times can he edit our posts
    And pretend that it's we who forget?
    The answer, my friend, is sleepin' in a shed,
    The answer is sleepin' in a shed.

    Yes, 'n' how many times must a bum be mocked
    Before he can count the cost?
    Yes, 'n' how many Zaaah-rows must one bum howl
    Before he is banned and TOSed?
    Yes, 'n' how many plagiarists' deaths will it take
    Before he admits that he's lost?
    The answer, my friend, is sleepin' in a shed,
    The answer is sleepin' in a shed. ***********************************************

    If PJR actually wrote that.

    After all, he hasn't actually made a post here himself in nearly a year.

    --
    Poetry and songs of Will Dockery:
    https://www.reverbnation.com/willdockery

    --- PyGate Linux v1.5.17
    * Origin: Dragon's Lair, PyGate NNTP<>Fido Gate (3:633/10)
  • From Cujo DeSockpuppet@3:633/10 to All on Sun Jun 21 14:37:44 2026
    Will Dockery <user3274@newsgrouper.org.invalid> wrote in news:1782051627-3274@newsgrouper.org:


    Cujo DeSockpuppet <cujo@petitmorte.net> posted:

    The True Melissa <thetruemelissa@gmail.com> wrote in
    news:MPG.44a18f597b9d058698a0b7@news.eternal-september.org:
    Verily, in article <1782009792-3274@newsgrouper.org>, did user3274
    @newsgrouper.org.invalid deliver unto us this message:

    Okay, that shoots down our theory that you're really Peter J.
    Ross.

    And that's *good* thing.

    Who's Peter J. Ross?

    https://pennyspoetry.fandom.com/wiki/Peter_J._Ross

    He also is a pretty good poet.

    He's also capable of killer song parodies.

    From 2026/05/19:

    Sleepin' In A Shed - By Peter J. Ross.
    ***********************************************
    How many roads must a bum crawl down
    Before you call him a bum?
    How many steaks must a drunkard mooch
    Before he's laughable scum?
    Yes, 'n' how many times must a moron be spanked
    Because he's forever dumb?
    The answer, my friend, is sleepin' in a shed,
    The answer is sleepin' in a shed.

    Yes, 'n' how many years can a douchebag spam
    Before he's thrown off the 'Net?
    Yes, 'n' how many years since his lyin' began
    Can he fail to be payin' his debt?
    Yes, 'n' how many times can he edit our posts
    And pretend that it's we who forget?
    The answer, my friend, is sleepin' in a shed,
    The answer is sleepin' in a shed.

    Yes, 'n' how many times must a bum be mocked
    Before he can count the cost?
    Yes, 'n' how many Zaaah-rows must one bum howl
    Before he is banned and TOSed?
    Yes, 'n' how many plagiarists' deaths will it take
    Before he admits that he's lost?
    The answer, my friend, is sleepin' in a shed,
    The answer is sleepin' in a shed.
    ***********************************************

    If PJR actually wrote that.

    After all, he hasn't actually made a post here himself in nearly a
    year.

    You're an idiot. Would you like proof?

    ******************************************************
    Path: not-for-mail
    From: Slob Dylan <slob@example.invalid>
    Newsgroups: alt.arts.poetry.comments
    Subject: Sleepin' in a Shed
    Date: Sat, 7 Jun 2025 19:46:25 +0100
    Organization: none
    Lines: 30
    Message-ID: <11eehl-iba.ln1@id-316567.user.individual.net>
    X-Trace: individual.net
    xX/6xo+TYZtUgOOXGvLb8gKJPSa0YyTU140ry7bAyIx7Qz9BNE
    X-Orig-Path: id-316567.user.individual.net!not-for-mail
    Cancel-Lock: sha1:lV4NQT5KmmMKOVe9gcwbvnkFdmk= sha256:5WARKbbWEb/SxZVSrXITbWDxuCDHR7yRFzMHvDNbKl0=
    User-Agent: slrn/1.0.3 (Linux)
    Bytes: 1639
    Xref: number.nntp.giganews.com alt.arts.poetry.comments:1305539

    How many roads must a bum crawl down
    Before you call him a bum?
    How many steaks must a drunkard mooch
    Before he's laughable scum?
    Yes, 'n' how many times must a moron be spanked
    Because he's forever dumb?
    The answer, my friend, is sleepin' in a shed,
    The answer is sleepin' in a shed.

    Yes, 'n' how many years can a douchebag spam
    Before he's thrown off the 'Net?
    Yes, 'n' how many years since his lyin' began
    Can he fail to be payin' his debt?
    Yes, 'n' how many times can he edit our posts
    And pretend that it's we who forget?
    The answer, my friend, is sleepin' in a shed,
    The answer is sleepin' in a shed.

    Yes, 'n' how many times must a bum be mocked
    Before he can count the cost?
    Yes, 'n' how many Zaaah-rows must one bum howl
    Before he is banned and TOSed?
    Yes, 'n' how many plagiarists' deaths will it take
    Before he admits that he's lost?
    The answer, my friend, is sleepin' in a shed,
    The answer is sleepin' in a shed.

    --
    Slob Dylan,
    Ignobel Laureate
    ***********************

    WHY ARE YOU SO FUCKING STUPID, DOUCHEBAG?


    --
    "The fact that it doesn't apply to the poem is of little consequence to
    you, because your poems don't have a literary basis, because you're functionally illiterate and haven't got a clue as to what a poem is." -
    Little Willie Douchebag gets another asskicking from Pendragon

    --- PyGate Linux v1.5.17
    * Origin: Dragon's Lair, PyGate NNTP<>Fido Gate (3:633/10)
  • From Will Dockery@3:633/10 to All on Sun Jun 21 15:24:05 2026

    Cujo DeSockpuppet <cujo@petitmorte.net> posted:

    Will Dockery <user3274@newsgrouper.org.invalid> wrote in news:1782051627-3274@newsgrouper.org:
    Cujo DeSockpuppet <cujo@petitmorte.net> posted:

    The True Melissa <thetruemelissa@gmail.com> wrote in
    news:MPG.44a18f597b9d058698a0b7@news.eternal-september.org:
    Verily, in article <1782009792-3274@newsgrouper.org>, did user3274
    @newsgrouper.org.invalid deliver unto us this message:

    Okay, that shoots down our theory that you're really Peter J.
    Ross.

    And that's *good* thing.

    Who's Peter J. Ross?

    https://pennyspoetry.fandom.com/wiki/Peter_J._Ross

    He also is a pretty good poet.

    He's also capable of killer song parodies.

    From 2026/05/19:

    The date below is:

    7 Jun 2025 19:46:25

    Sleepin' In A Shed - By Peter J. Ross.
    ***********************************************
    How many roads must a bum crawl down
    Before you call him a bum?
    How many steaks must a drunkard mooch
    Before he's laughable scum?
    Yes, 'n' how many times must a moron be spanked
    Because he's forever dumb?
    The answer, my friend, is sleepin' in a shed,
    The answer is sleepin' in a shed.

    Yes, 'n' how many years can a douchebag spam
    Before he's thrown off the 'Net?
    Yes, 'n' how many years since his lyin' began
    Can he fail to be payin' his debt?
    Yes, 'n' how many times can he edit our posts
    And pretend that it's we who forget?
    The answer, my friend, is sleepin' in a shed,
    The answer is sleepin' in a shed.

    Yes, 'n' how many times must a bum be mocked
    Before he can count the cost?
    Yes, 'n' how many Zaaah-rows must one bum howl
    Before he is banned and TOSed?
    Yes, 'n' how many plagiarists' deaths will it take
    Before he admits that he's lost?
    The answer, my friend, is sleepin' in a shed,
    The answer is sleepin' in a shed.
    ***********************************************

    If PJR actually wrote that.

    After all, he hasn't actually made a post here himself in nearly a
    year.

    You're an idiot. Would you like proof?

    7 Jun 2025 19:46:25

    Over a year ago.

    ******************************************************
    Path: not-for-mail
    From: Slob Dylan <slob@example.invalid>
    Newsgroups: alt.arts.poetry.comments
    Subject: Sleepin' in a Shed
    Date: Sat, 7 Jun 2025 19:46:25 +0100
    Organization: none
    Lines: 30
    Message-ID: <11eehl-iba.ln1@id-316567.user.individual.net>
    X-Trace: individual.net
    xX/6xo+TYZtUgOOXGvLb8gKJPSa0YyTU140ry7bAyIx7Qz9BNE
    X-Orig-Path: id-316567.user.individual.net!not-for-mail
    Cancel-Lock: sha1:lV4NQT5KmmMKOVe9gcwbvnkFdmk= sha256:5WARKbbWEb/SxZVSrXITbWDxuCDHR7yRFzMHvDNbKl0=
    User-Agent: slrn/1.0.3 (Linux)
    Bytes: 1639
    Xref: number.nntp.giganews.com alt.arts.poetry.comments:1305539

    How many roads must a bum crawl down
    Before you call him a bum?
    How many steaks must a drunkard mooch
    Before he's laughable scum?
    Yes, 'n' how many times must a moron be spanked
    Because he's forever dumb?
    The answer, my friend, is sleepin' in a shed,
    The answer is sleepin' in a shed.

    Yes, 'n' how many years can a douchebag spam
    Before he's thrown off the 'Net?
    Yes, 'n' how many years since his lyin' began
    Can he fail to be payin' his debt?
    Yes, 'n' how many times can he edit our posts
    And pretend that it's we who forget?
    The answer, my friend, is sleepin' in a shed,
    The answer is sleepin' in a shed.

    Yes, 'n' how many times must a bum be mocked
    Before he can count the cost?
    Yes, 'n' how many Zaaah-rows must one bum howl
    Before he is banned and TOSed?
    Yes, 'n' how many plagiarists' deaths will it take
    Before he admits that he's lost?
    The answer, my friend, is sleepin' in a shed,
    The answer is sleepin' in a shed.

    So, PJR was posting as "Slob Dylan" a year ago?

    Post date: 7 Jun 2025 19:46:25

    That's over a year ago, not last May,was you claimed earlier.

    --
    Poetry and songs of Will Dockery:
    https://www.reverbnation.com/willdockery

    --- PyGate Linux v1.5.17
    * Origin: Dragon's Lair, PyGate NNTP<>Fido Gate (3:633/10)
  • From Cujo DeSockpuppet@3:633/10 to All on Sun Jun 21 18:03:16 2026
    Will Dockery <user3274@newsgrouper.org.invalid> wrote in news:1782055445- 3274@newsgrouper.org:


    Cujo DeSockpuppet <cujo@petitmorte.net> posted:

    Will Dockery <user3274@newsgrouper.org.invalid> wrote in
    news:1782051627-3274@newsgrouper.org:
    Cujo DeSockpuppet <cujo@petitmorte.net> posted:

    The True Melissa <thetruemelissa@gmail.com> wrote in
    news:MPG.44a18f597b9d058698a0b7@news.eternal-september.org:
    Verily, in article <1782009792-3274@newsgrouper.org>, did
    user3274
    @newsgrouper.org.invalid deliver unto us this message:

    Okay, that shoots down our theory that you're really Peter J.
    Ross.

    And that's *good* thing.

    Who's Peter J. Ross?

    https://pennyspoetry.fandom.com/wiki/Peter_J._Ross

    He also is a pretty good poet.

    He's also capable of killer song parodies.

    From 2026/05/19:

    The date below is:

    7 Jun 2025 19:46:25

    Sleepin' In A Shed - By Peter J. Ross.
    ***********************************************
    How many roads must a bum crawl down
    Before you call him a bum?
    How many steaks must a drunkard mooch
    Before he's laughable scum?
    Yes, 'n' how many times must a moron be spanked
    Because he's forever dumb?
    The answer, my friend, is sleepin' in a shed,
    The answer is sleepin' in a shed.

    Yes, 'n' how many years can a douchebag spam
    Before he's thrown off the 'Net?
    Yes, 'n' how many years since his lyin' began
    Can he fail to be payin' his debt?
    Yes, 'n' how many times can he edit our posts
    And pretend that it's we who forget?
    The answer, my friend, is sleepin' in a shed,
    The answer is sleepin' in a shed.

    Yes, 'n' how many times must a bum be mocked
    Before he can count the cost?
    Yes, 'n' how many Zaaah-rows must one bum howl
    Before he is banned and TOSed?
    Yes, 'n' how many plagiarists' deaths will it take
    Before he admits that he's lost?
    The answer, my friend, is sleepin' in a shed,
    The answer is sleepin' in a shed.
    ***********************************************

    If PJR actually wrote that.

    After all, he hasn't actually made a post here himself in nearly a
    year.

    You're an idiot. Would you like proof?

    7 Jun 2025 19:46:25

    Over a year ago.

    ******************************************************
    Path: not-for-mail
    From: Slob Dylan <slob@example.invalid>
    Newsgroups: alt.arts.poetry.comments
    Subject: Sleepin' in a Shed
    Date: Sat, 7 Jun 2025 19:46:25 +0100
    Organization: none
    Lines: 30
    Message-ID: <11eehl-iba.ln1@id-316567.user.individual.net>
    X-Trace: individual.net
    xX/6xo+TYZtUgOOXGvLb8gKJPSa0YyTU140ry7bAyIx7Qz9BNE
    X-Orig-Path: id-316567.user.individual.net!not-for-mail
    Cancel-Lock: sha1:lV4NQT5KmmMKOVe9gcwbvnkFdmk=
    sha256:5WARKbbWEb/SxZVSrXITbWDxuCDHR7yRFzMHvDNbKl0=
    User-Agent: slrn/1.0.3 (Linux)
    Bytes: 1639
    Xref: number.nntp.giganews.com alt.arts.poetry.comments:1305539

    How many roads must a bum crawl down
    Before you call him a bum?
    How many steaks must a drunkard mooch
    Before he's laughable scum?
    Yes, 'n' how many times must a moron be spanked
    Because he's forever dumb?
    The answer, my friend, is sleepin' in a shed,
    The answer is sleepin' in a shed.

    Yes, 'n' how many years can a douchebag spam
    Before he's thrown off the 'Net?
    Yes, 'n' how many years since his lyin' began
    Can he fail to be payin' his debt?
    Yes, 'n' how many times can he edit our posts
    And pretend that it's we who forget?
    The answer, my friend, is sleepin' in a shed,
    The answer is sleepin' in a shed.

    Yes, 'n' how many times must a bum be mocked
    Before he can count the cost?
    Yes, 'n' how many Zaaah-rows must one bum howl
    Before he is banned and TOSed?
    Yes, 'n' how many plagiarists' deaths will it take
    Before he admits that he's lost?
    The answer, my friend, is sleepin' in a shed,
    The answer is sleepin' in a shed.

    So, PJR was posting as "Slob Dylan" a year ago?

    Post date: 7 Jun 2025 19:46:25

    That's over a year ago, not last May,was you claimed earlier.

    Yes, the repost was from May. The original post was from June 7th.

    I only claimed the original by PHJR was from last year.

    --
    "The fact that it doesn't apply to the poem is of little consequence to
    you, because your poems don't have a literary basis, because you're functionally illiterate and haven't got a clue as to what a poem is." -
    Little Willie Douchebag gets another asskicking from Pendragon

    --- PyGate Linux v1.5.17
    * Origin: Dragon's Lair, PyGate NNTP<>Fido Gate (3:633/10)
  • From Will Dockery@3:633/10 to All on Thu Jul 2 20:12:47 2026

    Cujo DeSockpuppet <cujo@petitmorte.net> posted:

    Will Dockery <user3274@newsgrouper.org.invalid> wrote in news:1782055445- 3274@newsgrouper.org:


    Cujo DeSockpuppet <cujo@petitmorte.net> posted:

    Will Dockery <user3274@newsgrouper.org.invalid> wrote in
    news:1782051627-3274@newsgrouper.org:
    Cujo DeSockpuppet <cujo@petitmorte.net> posted:

    The True Melissa <thetruemelissa@gmail.com> wrote in
    news:MPG.44a18f597b9d058698a0b7@news.eternal-september.org:
    Verily, in article <1782009792-3274@newsgrouper.org>, did
    user3274
    @newsgrouper.org.invalid deliver unto us this message:

    Okay, that shoots down our theory that you're really Peter J.
    Ross.

    And that's *good* thing.

    Who's Peter J. Ross?

    https://pennyspoetry.fandom.com/wiki/Peter_J._Ross

    He also is a pretty good poet.

    He's also capable of killer song parodies.

    From 2026/05/19:

    The date below is:

    7 Jun 2025 19:46:25

    Sleepin' In A Shed - By Peter J. Ross.
    ***********************************************
    How many roads must a bum crawl down
    Before you call him a bum?
    How many steaks must a drunkard mooch
    Before he's laughable scum?
    Yes, 'n' how many times must a moron be spanked
    Because he's forever dumb?
    The answer, my friend, is sleepin' in a shed,
    The answer is sleepin' in a shed.

    Yes, 'n' how many years can a douchebag spam
    Before he's thrown off the 'Net?
    Yes, 'n' how many years since his lyin' began
    Can he fail to be payin' his debt?
    Yes, 'n' how many times can he edit our posts
    And pretend that it's we who forget?
    The answer, my friend, is sleepin' in a shed,
    The answer is sleepin' in a shed.

    Yes, 'n' how many times must a bum be mocked
    Before he can count the cost?
    Yes, 'n' how many Zaaah-rows must one bum howl
    Before he is banned and TOSed?
    Yes, 'n' how many plagiarists' deaths will it take
    Before he admits that he's lost?
    The answer, my friend, is sleepin' in a shed,
    The answer is sleepin' in a shed.
    ***********************************************

    If PJR actually wrote that.

    After all, he hasn't actually made a post here himself in nearly a
    year.

    You're an idiot. Would you like proof?

    7 Jun 2025 19:46:25

    Over a year ago.

    ******************************************************
    Path: not-for-mail
    From: Slob Dylan <slob@example.invalid>
    Newsgroups: alt.arts.poetry.comments
    Subject: Sleepin' in a Shed
    Date: Sat, 7 Jun 2025 19:46:25 +0100
    Organization: none
    Lines: 30
    Message-ID: <11eehl-iba.ln1@id-316567.user.individual.net>
    X-Trace: individual.net
    xX/6xo+TYZtUgOOXGvLb8gKJPSa0YyTU140ry7bAyIx7Qz9BNE
    X-Orig-Path: id-316567.user.individual.net!not-for-mail
    Cancel-Lock: sha1:lV4NQT5KmmMKOVe9gcwbvnkFdmk=
    sha256:5WARKbbWEb/SxZVSrXITbWDxuCDHR7yRFzMHvDNbKl0=
    User-Agent: slrn/1.0.3 (Linux)
    Bytes: 1639
    Xref: number.nntp.giganews.com alt.arts.poetry.comments:1305539

    How many roads must a bum crawl down
    Before you call him a bum?
    How many steaks must a drunkard mooch
    Before he's laughable scum?
    Yes, 'n' how many times must a moron be spanked
    Because he's forever dumb?
    The answer, my friend, is sleepin' in a shed,
    The answer is sleepin' in a shed.

    Yes, 'n' how many years can a douchebag spam
    Before he's thrown off the 'Net?
    Yes, 'n' how many years since his lyin' began
    Can he fail to be payin' his debt?
    Yes, 'n' how many times can he edit our posts
    And pretend that it's we who forget?
    The answer, my friend, is sleepin' in a shed,
    The answer is sleepin' in a shed.

    Yes, 'n' how many times must a bum be mocked
    Before he can count the cost?
    Yes, 'n' how many Zaaah-rows must one bum howl
    Before he is banned and TOSed?
    Yes, 'n' how many plagiarists' deaths will it take
    Before he admits that he's lost?
    The answer, my friend, is sleepin' in a shed,
    The answer is sleepin' in a shed.

    So, PJR was posting as "Slob Dylan" a year ago?

    Post date: 7 Jun 2025 19:46:25

    That's over a year ago, not last May,was you claimed earlier.

    Yes, the repost was from May. The original post was from June 7th.

    I only claimed the original by PHJR was from last year.

    In other words I was correct, PJR hasn't posted here in over a year.

    --
    Poetry and songs of Will Dockery:
    https://www.reverbnation.com/willdockery

    --- PyGate Linux v1.5.18
    * Origin: Dragon's Lair, PyGate NNTP<>Fido Gate (3:633/10)
  • From Bruce@3:633/10 to All on Thu Jul 2 16:14:20 2026
    Will Dockery wrote:
    In other words I was correct, PJR hasn't posted here in over a year.


    Yet you still bring him up, almost daily.

    --- PyGate Linux v1.5.18
    * Origin: Dragon's Lair, PyGate NNTP<>Fido Gate (3:633/10)
  • From Will Dockery@3:633/10 to All on Thu Jul 2 20:24:45 2026

    Bruce <Bruce@nomail.nope> posted:
    Will Dockery wrote:

    In other words I was correct, PJR hasn't posted here in over a year.


    Yet you still bring him up, almost daily.

    Not really, I don't think PJR has been mentioned here in weeks.

    And so it goes.

    --
    Poetry and songs of Will Dockery:
    https://www.reverbnation.com/willdockery

    --- PyGate Linux v1.5.18
    * Origin: Dragon's Lair, PyGate NNTP<>Fido Gate (3:633/10)
  • From Bruce@3:633/10 to All on Thu Jul 2 16:28:14 2026
    Will Dockery wrote:

    Bruce <Bruce@nomail.nope> posted:
    Will Dockery wrote:

    In other words I was correct, PJR hasn't posted here in over a year.

    >
    Yet you still bring him up, almost daily.

    Not really


    Liar.


    --- PyGate Linux v1.5.18
    * Origin: Dragon's Lair, PyGate NNTP<>Fido Gate (3:633/10)
  • From Will Dockery@3:633/10 to All on Thu Jul 2 20:33:45 2026

    Bruce <Bruce@nomail.nope> posted:
    Will Dockery wrote:
    Bruce <Bruce@nomail.nope> posted:
    Will Dockery wrote:

    In other words I was correct, PJR hasn't posted here in over a year.

    >
    Yet you still bring him up, almost daily.

    Not really


    Liar.

    Show me any posts made about PJR recently besides this one, then.

    Since he hasn't posted here in a year now, PJR isn't exactly a hot topic.

    HTH and HAND.


    --
    Poetry and songs of Will Dockery:
    https://www.reverbnation.com/willdockery

    --- PyGate Linux v1.5.18
    * Origin: Dragon's Lair, PyGate NNTP<>Fido Gate (3:633/10)
  • From Bruce@3:633/10 to All on Thu Jul 2 16:37:51 2026
    Will Dockery wrote:

    Bruce <Bruce@nomail.nope> posted:
    Will Dockery wrote:
    Bruce <Bruce@nomail.nope> posted:
    Will Dockery wrote:

    In other words I was correct, PJR hasn't posted here in over a year.

    >
    Yet you still bring him up, almost daily.

    Not really
    >
    >
    Liar.

    Show me any posts


    Fuck off, troll.

    https://groups.google.com/g/alt.arts.poetry.comments/c/sAZViOUafhQ/m/ks3pz3T9AgAJ

    https://groups.google.com/g/alt.poetry/c/ukRzfUUVCpk/m/5qZ1E0MzAwAJ

    --- PyGate Linux v1.5.18
    * Origin: Dragon's Lair, PyGate NNTP<>Fido Gate (3:633/10)
  • From Will Dockery@3:633/10 to All on Thu Jul 2 21:32:10 2026

    Bruce <Bruce@nomail.nope> posted:
    Will Dockery wrote:
    Bruce <Bruce@nomail.nope> posted:
    Will Dockery wrote:

    In other words I was correct, PJR hasn't posted here in over a year. >>>>>
    >
    Yet you still bring him up, almost daily.

    Not really
    >
    >
    Liar.

    Show me any posts


    Fuck off

    I didn't expect you'd be able to post anything.

    And so it goes.

    --
    Poetry and songs of Will Dockery:
    https://www.reverbnation.com/willdockery

    --- PyGate Linux v1.5.18
    * Origin: Dragon's Lair, PyGate NNTP<>Fido Gate (3:633/10)
  • From Bruce@3:633/10 to All on Thu Jul 2 17:45:44 2026
    Will Dockery wrote:

    Bruce <Bruce@nomail.nope> posted:
    Will Dockery wrote:
    Bruce <Bruce@nomail.nope> posted:
    Will Dockery wrote:

    In other words I was correct, PJR hasn't posted here in over a year. >>>>>>>
    >
    Yet you still bring him up, almost daily.

    Not really
    >
    >
    Liar.

    Show me any posts
    >
    >
    Fuck off, Troll.


    I didn't expect you'd be able to post anything.

    And so it goes.


    You've posted about PJR no less than a dozen times
    this year, dipshit. I'm not about to go digging
    through old posts to prove what a fucking liar
    you are.

    Everyone that reads this froup already knows what
    a lying burnout you are.

    You dug up several PJR posts for Melissa to see
    recently.

    Sober up and maybe your memory will improve.

    Now, get busy snipping the truths that make you butthurt.

    --- PyGate Linux v1.5.18
    * Origin: Dragon's Lair, PyGate NNTP<>Fido Gate (3:633/10)
  • From Will Dockery@3:633/10 to All on Fri Jul 3 05:06:17 2026

    Bruce <Bruce@nomail.nope> posted:
    Will Dockery wrote:
    Bruce <Bruce@nomail.nope> posted:

    Yet you still bring him up, almost daily.

    Not really

    Show me any posts

    Fuck off

    Why don't you try that?

    ?

    --
    Poetry and songs of Will Dockery:
    https://www.reverbnation.com/willdockery

    --- PyGate Linux v1.5.18
    * Origin: Dragon's Lair, PyGate NNTP<>Fido Gate (3:633/10)
  • From Will Dockery@3:633/10 to All on Fri Jul 3 11:43:44 2026

    The True Melissa <thetruemelissa@gmail.com> posted:


    When I was much too small to meet your eye,
    I loved you more than I loved anyone.
    I saw you hated me, but never why.
    I never understood what I had done.

    When I grew tall enough, I ran away.
    The world was not as bad as I'd been told
    But still you pulled me back under your sway.
    It was more dangerous inside the fold.

    When you no longer could maintain your hoard,
    I soon turned up to help you as required.
    I scrubbed 'til sanitation was restored,
    While you made fun of me for being tired.

    You always said I'd get what I deserve.
    This isn't it. I quit. I will not serve.

    I see the trolls are in a real tizzy this morning, Melissa, so I bumped your poem up to help her this thread back on topic.

    HTH and HAND.

    --
    Poetry and songs of Will Dockery:
    https://www.reverbnation.com/willdockery

    --- PyGate Linux v1.5.18
    * Origin: Dragon's Lair, PyGate NNTP<>Fido Gate (3:633/10)
  • From Cujo DeSockpuppet@3:633/10 to All on Fri Jul 3 12:18:33 2026
    Will Dockery <user3274@newsgrouper.org.invalid> wrote in news:1783079024-3274@newsgrouper.org:


    The True Melissa <thetruemelissa@gmail.com> posted:


    When I was much too small to meet your eye,
    I loved you more than I loved anyone.
    I saw you hated me, but never why.
    I never understood what I had done.

    When I grew tall enough, I ran away.
    The world was not as bad as I'd been told
    But still you pulled me back under your sway.
    It was more dangerous inside the fold.

    When you no longer could maintain your hoard,
    I soon turned up to help you as required.
    I scrubbed 'til sanitation was restored,
    While you made fun of me for being tired.

    You always said I'd get what I deserve.
    This isn't it. I quit. I will not serve.

    I see the trolls are in a real tizzy this morning, Melissa, so I
    bumped your poem up to help her this thread back on topic.

    I can read your poetry just fine, Melissa. Douchebag Willie is just
    trying to bury the latest comments that pointed out his lies and cowardly tactics.

    He's a clumsy liar but a manipulative narcissist. If that mooching
    scumbag ever claims you owe him something, tell him to fuck off and get
    his dental work done. I already got him square with soap and deodorant.

    PS: Whether he uses it or not...


    --
    "The fact that it doesn't apply to the poem is of little consequence to
    you, because your poems don't have a literary basis, because you're functionally illiterate and haven't got a clue as to what a poem is." -
    Little Willie Douchebag gets another asskicking from Pendragon

    --- PyGate Linux v1.5.18
    * Origin: Dragon's Lair, PyGate NNTP<>Fido Gate (3:633/10)
  • From Will Dockery@3:633/10 to All on Fri Jul 3 12:55:06 2026

    Cujo DeSockpuppet <cujo@petitmorte.net> posted:

    Will Dockery <user3274@newsgrouper.org.invalid> wrote in news:1783079024-3274@newsgrouper.org:


    The True Melissa <thetruemelissa@gmail.com> posted:


    When I was much too small to meet your eye,
    I loved you more than I loved anyone.
    I saw you hated me, but never why.
    I never understood what I had done.

    When I grew tall enough, I ran away.
    The world was not as bad as I'd been told
    But still you pulled me back under your sway.
    It was more dangerous inside the fold.

    When you no longer could maintain your hoard,
    I soon turned up to help you as required.
    I scrubbed 'til sanitation was restored,
    While you made fun of me for being tired.

    You always said I'd get what I deserve.
    This isn't it. I quit. I will not serve.

    I see the trolls are in a real tizzy this morning, Melissa, so I
    bumped your poem up to help her this thread back on topic.

    I can read your poetry just fine, Melissa.

    Yet you haven't posted a single comment on the poetry, have you?

    ?

    --
    Poetry and songs of Will Dockery:
    https://www.reverbnation.com/willdockery

    --- PyGate Linux v1.5.18
    * Origin: Dragon's Lair, PyGate NNTP<>Fido Gate (3:633/10)
  • From The True Melissa@3:633/10 to All on Fri Jul 3 09:41:52 2026
    Verily, in article <1783079024-3274@newsgrouper.org>, did user3274 @newsgrouper.org.invalid deliver unto us this message:

    I see the trolls are in a real tizzy this morning, Melissa, so I bumped your poem up to help her this thread back on topic.

    HTH and HAND.

    Thanks, but please don't worry about it. I have a killfile and a
    scorefile. :-)

    --
    The True Melissa - Canal Winchester - Ohio
    United States of America - North America - Earth
    Solar System - Milky Way - Local Group
    Virgo Cluster - Laniakea Supercluster - Cosmos

    --- PyGate Linux v1.5.18
    * Origin: Dragon's Lair, PyGate NNTP<>Fido Gate (3:633/10)
  • From Will Dockery@3:633/10 to All on Sat Jul 4 04:50:00 2026

    The True Melissa <thetruemelissa@gmail.com> posted:
    Verily, in article <1783079024-3274@newsgrouper.org>, did user3274 @newsgrouper.org.invalid deliver unto us this message:

    I see the trolls are in a real tizzy this morning, Melissa, so I bumped your poem up to help her this thread back on topic.

    HTH and HAND.

    Thanks, but please don't worry about it. I have a killfile and a
    scorefile. :-)

    Indeed, one of the perks of reading Usenet newsgroups via a real newsreader.

    ?

    --
    Poetry and songs of Will Dockery:
    https://www.reverbnation.com/willdockery

    --- PyGate Linux v1.5.18
    * Origin: Dragon's Lair, PyGate NNTP<>Fido Gate (3:633/10)